I like your example. The use of italics really helps with conciseness compared to the prose. The poem has to be read a little slower to understand, it’s really pared down, but the essential bits are there.
Jeremy Noel-Tod had a good column on line breaks last week. His first example also uses italics effectively:
(Unfortunately italics often get lost in posted comments and e-mail and the like, so I suppose I tend not to use them.)
If we keep our eyes and ears peeled, we’ll sometimes “find” things that look or sound like poetry, perhaps accidental poetry, and with a bit of formatting can be transformed. Here’s something technologist Horace Dediu posted years ago that I had bookmarked because I found it funny, some remarks by Microsoft’s previous CEO. The first example is what I remembered, how the lines expand and contract (almost like Whitman, one might say):
That IS a good column! Thank you for sharing with us. The visual art, as a way to think about line breaks--a way to feel our way to line breaks!
Moving margins. I have a weak spot for poetry that covers the page. When my oldest son was still crib-bound, I wrote about his being ill for a few days, taking the poem to the four borders of the page, hearing his cries from it. (He was bored from a young age and restless, and wanted OUT.) It was my first time experimenting with such. and climbing out of my own crib!
Yes, to the italics--
I think that is something rich in verse novels. The word count is so much less (it does invite the non-readers in young people, has been my experience, as far as these works for the young) but they slow the read. They're contemplative; another reason why, perhaps, they are often messier in content.
Your second link. Found poetry. I used to do workshops with young people, with excerpts from magazines and books, and they'd play and cut.
All this is working towards knowledge of the power of the line, the cut. Enjambment. Allowing the reader's mind to find spaces to slip into... This is the work--or good part of it--of so-called free verse.
Thanks again, Frank! I always appreciate your offerings and thoughts.
I guess I’m kind of old school with line breaks. I think they should be there for a reason, usually to supply a slight pause, or at least a tiny hesitation, or to create a bit of anticipation about what comes next.
Two old-school examples.
If you click the audio button next to the title, you can hear Glück read this short free-verse poem. Note how almost every line has an audible pause after it. She’s honoring her line breaks. This contributes to the hypnotic, slowed-down feel of the recitation. If you read this aloud the way you would a news article, it would take only 30 seconds instead of a full minute.
Song lyrics almost always have a pause at the end of each line. Here are the lyrics to an early PJ Harvey song. You could read this like a free verse poem. Like most songwriters she doesn’t use terminal punctuation. But when she sings it, there’s an end stop after every line, even the very short ones. That helps us hear all the great near rhymes and ups the drama quotient too:
(One thing we don’t get in reading the lyrics of Harvey’s songs, even aloud, is the way she often modulates the pitch and volume of her singing voice. Same with Glück’s slow-down. We really have to experience the full performance to hear those things.)
Agreed! About "should be there for a reason." Which means free verse poets have to put substantial thought into this. (Which is why I encourage the play, to change up, often to change back, to hear how one works, and then another.)
It's punctuation. Though I have to admit to a certain distaste for when it's read aloud and too much emphasis on the break, with a stilted "poetry voice." Maybe it's somewhere between a comma and a period.
And then singing is a whole other thing. My son spends hours with his phrasing, and listening to others' recording; it's making me listen and hear all over again. Yes to experiencing the full performance!
I like your example. The use of italics really helps with conciseness compared to the prose. The poem has to be read a little slower to understand, it’s really pared down, but the essential bits are there.
Jeremy Noel-Tod had a good column on line breaks last week. His first example also uses italics effectively:
https://someflowerssoon.substack.com/p/on-not-making-ends-neat
(Unfortunately italics often get lost in posted comments and e-mail and the like, so I suppose I tend not to use them.)
If we keep our eyes and ears peeled, we’ll sometimes “find” things that look or sound like poetry, perhaps accidental poetry, and with a bit of formatting can be transformed. Here’s something technologist Horace Dediu posted years ago that I had bookmarked because I found it funny, some remarks by Microsoft’s previous CEO. The first example is what I remembered, how the lines expand and contract (almost like Whitman, one might say):
http://www.asymco.com/2012/07/10/the-poetry-of-steve-ballmer/
That IS a good column! Thank you for sharing with us. The visual art, as a way to think about line breaks--a way to feel our way to line breaks!
Moving margins. I have a weak spot for poetry that covers the page. When my oldest son was still crib-bound, I wrote about his being ill for a few days, taking the poem to the four borders of the page, hearing his cries from it. (He was bored from a young age and restless, and wanted OUT.) It was my first time experimenting with such. and climbing out of my own crib!
Yes, to the italics--
I think that is something rich in verse novels. The word count is so much less (it does invite the non-readers in young people, has been my experience, as far as these works for the young) but they slow the read. They're contemplative; another reason why, perhaps, they are often messier in content.
Your second link. Found poetry. I used to do workshops with young people, with excerpts from magazines and books, and they'd play and cut.
All this is working towards knowledge of the power of the line, the cut. Enjambment. Allowing the reader's mind to find spaces to slip into... This is the work--or good part of it--of so-called free verse.
Thanks again, Frank! I always appreciate your offerings and thoughts.
I guess I’m kind of old school with line breaks. I think they should be there for a reason, usually to supply a slight pause, or at least a tiny hesitation, or to create a bit of anticipation about what comes next.
Two old-school examples.
If you click the audio button next to the title, you can hear Glück read this short free-verse poem. Note how almost every line has an audible pause after it. She’s honoring her line breaks. This contributes to the hypnotic, slowed-down feel of the recitation. If you read this aloud the way you would a news article, it would take only 30 seconds instead of a full minute.
https://poets.org/poem/red-poppy-0
Song lyrics almost always have a pause at the end of each line. Here are the lyrics to an early PJ Harvey song. You could read this like a free verse poem. Like most songwriters she doesn’t use terminal punctuation. But when she sings it, there’s an end stop after every line, even the very short ones. That helps us hear all the great near rhymes and ups the drama quotient too:
https://www.shazam.com/track/10008595/man-size
(One thing we don’t get in reading the lyrics of Harvey’s songs, even aloud, is the way she often modulates the pitch and volume of her singing voice. Same with Glück’s slow-down. We really have to experience the full performance to hear those things.)
Agreed! About "should be there for a reason." Which means free verse poets have to put substantial thought into this. (Which is why I encourage the play, to change up, often to change back, to hear how one works, and then another.)
It's punctuation. Though I have to admit to a certain distaste for when it's read aloud and too much emphasis on the break, with a stilted "poetry voice." Maybe it's somewhere between a comma and a period.
And then singing is a whole other thing. My son spends hours with his phrasing, and listening to others' recording; it's making me listen and hear all over again. Yes to experiencing the full performance!
Thanks, Frank!