“It’s a bit mind-blowing to realize I’ve cut almost 30 pages. What was in them? The story is still intact. The characters are no less. The turns are all there.”
This is the heart of the lesson! My mind is blown, just by the illustrations and especially the embedded POV lesson...love it. I actually pulled a ‘First Draft Bin’ out, it’s just a chunk of the imagined story but I am inspired to work with it.
The original was part of a Remembrance Day presentation to the Cub pack, well received by my intended audience, and my crit partners at the time gave great but overwhelming feedback. I feel it is time to revisit it and attempt a second draft. Truly Great Un-lessons lately!!!
Yes, warmth! But ‘recognized’ - is this in pov of Dad/boy? The original gives me that idea. So I see the smile, but what makes us see that recognition? Throwing it back at you, since you had a suggestion, and I was blank til I read your suggestion...
I am so jealous that you are at this stage. This month, hoped NaNoWriMo would get me to the end of the first draft. Instead, it through me a series of unexpected curveballs, so I may actually achieve les this month than the previous month. Needless to say I am anxious to get this draft done because I am itching to start cutting, looking for those bad habits (one of mine is the use of the word suddenly!)
Man, I feel seen...the little "thought"s and "wondered"s and "occurred"s are like ants--totally impossible to completely eradicate in one go. Love this, thanks!
"Ants." Yes. I can only do that type of work for a short period of time, and move on to something else. I do a piece each day until done. 90 minutes, absolute maximum.
“It’s a bit mind-blowing to realize I’ve cut almost 30 pages. What was in them? The story is still intact. The characters are no less. The turns are all there.”
This is the heart of the lesson! My mind is blown, just by the illustrations and especially the embedded POV lesson...love it. I actually pulled a ‘First Draft Bin’ out, it’s just a chunk of the imagined story but I am inspired to work with it.
The original was part of a Remembrance Day presentation to the Cub pack, well received by my intended audience, and my crit partners at the time gave great but overwhelming feedback. I feel it is time to revisit it and attempt a second draft. Truly Great Un-lessons lately!!!
I appreciate the feedback, Elizabeth.
"Great but overwhelming" feedback--yes, that happens! But to feel in your bones it's time to revisit--good!
Just caught this line in my work this aft: "She seemed pleased to see them."
Scenario: this is an older woman, a neighbour-grandma type, at her door when father and son come by on Halloween night...
This is just lazy, first draft, let's-get-it-on-paper stuff. I'll work on it. What would YOU do with it?
"She smiled when she recognized them."
Nice sense of warmth to this!
Yes, warmth! But ‘recognized’ - is this in pov of Dad/boy? The original gives me that idea. So I see the smile, but what makes us see that recognition? Throwing it back at you, since you had a suggestion, and I was blank til I read your suggestion...
Good catch. It's getting rid of that "seemed to" piece... how?
Yes, Dad (Keith) is the POV character.
So interesting to see your process....now I need to go back and read your previous days at the Del. Catching up!
I am so jealous that you are at this stage. This month, hoped NaNoWriMo would get me to the end of the first draft. Instead, it through me a series of unexpected curveballs, so I may actually achieve les this month than the previous month. Needless to say I am anxious to get this draft done because I am itching to start cutting, looking for those bad habits (one of mine is the use of the word suddenly!)
Man, I feel seen...the little "thought"s and "wondered"s and "occurred"s are like ants--totally impossible to completely eradicate in one go. Love this, thanks!
"Ants." Yes. I can only do that type of work for a short period of time, and move on to something else. I do a piece each day until done. 90 minutes, absolute maximum.
Happy Monday, and writing...!