While this prompt is open to ALL subscribers, free and paid, please DO NOT share it it any way outside of the Unschool.
I’m posting two photos, each of three “conversation dice.” You can use either of the photos, and create a piece that incorporates the three elements. You do not have to use the words. But do use the ideas/thoughts in the three dice together—somehow—in the piece.
Tomorrow it will be one year since you bought me an Almond Milk latte from Starbucks. I know this because the label stuck to the cup shows the date: March 11, 2021. It also shows the time you spent about $4.00 on me was 3:02PM. That must mean I met you at about 2: 51PM that afternoon – just before the order was placed - when you walked up to me at the outside table and awkwardly deciding to take off your face mask, said “ Hi, what kind of coffee would you like?”
Since then, that paper cup has sat on the top shelf in my office, inside a quiet flowered box. Once in a while I will sneak a look at it. No mold has ever grown inside it thankfully, though there is a swirl of dark dry brown circling the inside. Somewhere on the outside are your fingerprints - and mine. DNA forever linked. A clue in a crime scene, if there had ever been one. Or in this case, a small imprint or remnant of a love affair.
I saved it all this time because I knew it meant something when I met you. I also saved something else…the cover from a personalized packet of vitamins and medicine that you take. That is folded and hidden in the velvet drawer of my jewelry box. It is a small white, plastic packet with your name preprinted on it in black type. It was ripped open and the contents perhaps swallowed. I found it in the garbage can in your bathroom when I washed my hands there once.
One year later we still talk sometimes. But we grew apart because of your travels and because of the sea of trouble you found yourself in. Also because of the shifting sand of my own situation. But we always come back. We have a curiosity about each other. Nothing is resolved. The chords of connection are still there…just on pause. To be determined. No plan.
Yes, I took small things. To hold onto. To hide. To look at once in awhile and to wonder. To prove to myself that something did happen. That I did know you. That there was something there. But in the end, and over time, will the souvenirs I covet turn out to be garbage?
Shirley, I'm so glad you posted! Thanks for wading in...
The devolution from "souvenir" to (potentially) "garbage" is both heart-breaking, and human. The details of the items, the care with times noted, the examination of the connection and disconnection--builds. Builds the story here, and the character who is speaking. Romantic, hopeful... I want to say obsessive, but only going further into the story would determine if too much so or not. In the penultimate paragraph the character is seeing with clear-sightedness. Where will that go? So intriguing! "We have a curiosity about each other."
I think the "chords of connection" is a typo... but it made me think of music, and wonder...!
"The time you spent about $4.00 on me"... oh my. There's even tension in the movement from past to present tense... and in the final bit, questioning the future. Questioning the relationship, the connection itself.
"To prove to myself that something did happen," is a line that resonates.
I'm putting together a set of questions that we here--Unschoolers--can use to offer feedback. I think that should be one: What line in the work really stands out? And for me, it is that. That might well be what "souvenirs" are.
Thank you for the feedback! Yes chord should have been cord :)… I feel like I rushed this piece though - there could’ve been more… I like that the things she saved really were garbage but they were also souvenirs…and you mention obsession - I could’ve gone darker there maybe! A dark spiral! Thank you Alison.
I'm realizing, in all this current posting here, about workshopping... how worrisome or downright terrifying it is to post work... that "there could've been more." This is a truth when it comes to responding to prompts and so much more. When teaching full-year 6 credit classes (Sept-April), I used to declare January as "rough work" month... People used to bring in raw work, risk-taking work. Often it was the best and bravest we saw all year. YES to the two sides of the pieces she kept. And maybe even to exploring further. But as is you do evoke these possibilities here; you have created a portrait of an individual and a relationship in few words.
Love the idea of a time to post raw, risk-taking work....I don't even know what that would be for me - stepping out of the box I guess (like you had posted about previously)?
It was something I'd "warn" them of in September. Most had some polished work at that point to hand in... and then the months would go by. The month off in December would give them time to work on something new. And the deal was, all January work would be new and whatever-it-was. There was an air of excitement about it. Also, all were submitting new work, so there was mutual respect and understanding. Trust grew.
There I was, as usual, sitting in my bed, in front of my t.v. flipping through shows and apps, trying to find something to put on to distract me from everything. Distraction from things I should be doing but can't because of my depression, distraction from my guilty thoughts, distraction from wanting to just crawl under the covers and sleep all day. But I've been doing that too much and it was getting more difficult to keep up. I had to force myself to stay awake long enough to get tired. Even though I didn't even leave my bedroom, it was as if I was a fixture in there, like my lamp, only even less useful. It was when I flipped over to YouTube to watch video's that my life started to change, though I didn't know it yet. I happened to see a video for this therapist talking about narcissistic parents and I thought, "maybe I'd be able to understand my mother more if I watch it". I was hooked right away. He just had a way of explaining things like nobody else I'd ever seen on any platform. I started to watch his other videos about family dynamics that create certain trauma's and he used diagrams, examples and role playing. He also, and this is key, he also explained how you do the work to heal from it! I suddenly felt like I had some power back in my life. I knew I didn't have all the answers but I took that leap of faith that now I was on the right track to get the right help, to find a therapist like HIM that could continue to help me move past my traumas and heal from my depression. I could finally go take a shower and plan what to do next.
The "as usual" works well--gives a sense of time and where this person is at. "Shows and apps" reveals that back and forth of screen to screen, without spelling it out!
It seems to me that somewhere in the prompts, there's one about writing around an emotion without naming it, as a way of seeing how you might "evoke" without "telling." You might do this with the word "depression." You have already built a strong sense of that, and images that connect--so you might leave it to the reader to know what it is you are talking about.
You've packed a lot in here! The "doing too much" I am curious about: what is it that the character has been doing--is it in the bedroom or out in the world? (I'm left with the thought that they haven't been going out for awhile.) What does he or she do when not doing "shows and apps"? Maybe note a couple of activities or tasks.
Does the character understand his/her mother is a narcissist? How? A brief detail about the parent--maybe included in that brief list of "diagrams (I'm SO curious about that!), examples, role playing"... you might slip in an e.g. of something Mother did, and the character discovers that this word might just connect with the parent... possibly? Maybe that's what hooks the youtube viewing?
I so like the repetition and VOICE in the line "He also, and this is key, he also explained..."
BUT my favourite line, that so stands out, is the closer: "I could finally go take a shower and plan..." Very good! A shower is such an ordinary thing. Something most of us manage to do--mindlessly. Yet to someone in the cycle of depression--for someone in a shadowed place--it's key. And it's momentum, and Change!
There I was, as usual, sitting in my bed, in front of my t.v. flipping through shows and apps, trying to find something to put on to distract me from everything. Distraction from things I should be doing like taking care of my home & talking to my friends, distraction from intrusive thoughts that played like a record of sad things in my head, distraction from wanting to just crawl under the covers and sleep all day. But I’ve been sleeping so much lately that now it’s hard to sleep at all. I needed to force myself to do something to tire me out soon, later. I never even left my bedroom, it was as if I was a fixture in there, like my lamp, only even less useful. It was when I flipped over to YouTube to watch video's that my life started to change, though I didn't quite know it yet. I happened to see a video for this therapist talking about narcissistic parents and I thought, "hmm, maybe I'd be able to understand my mother more if I watch it". I’ve always known she has a grandiose personality and will never give up a fight; even when she’s wrong and the whole room knows it, she simply cannot ever admit she’s wrong. We’ve all just gotten used to letting her have her little delusions. But she hit a new low recently that rocked me to the core. It’s when I realized she’d rather never speak to me again, than try to work through an issue. When she just verbally attacked me out of the blue while I was visiting. She got some wrong assumptions in her head somehow and nothing I said was going to change her mind. I didn’t know what was wrong with her, I was so confused, lost and sad. I didn’t even consider she could be a narcissist until I saw that video. Something about it & that word, ‘narcissist’ just kind of clicked in my brain and told me to watch it. Well, I was hooked right away, suddenly understanding why my mom was acting the way she did helped me not be down on myself, it wasn’t my fault. The therapist just had a way of explaining things like nobody else I'd ever seen on any platform. I started to watch his other videos about the different family dynamics that create certain types of traumas. He used role playing examples as well as diagrams; where he drew shapes labeled for each family member, used emoticons for their emotions and arrows, lines and such, like a football playbook! He did one for a healthy family then the various types of toxic families to point out the difference, which is so helpful. He also, and this is key, he also explained how you do the work to heal from it! I suddenly felt like I had some power back in my life. Though I knew I didn't have all the answers, I took that leap of faith that now I was on the right track to get the right help, to find a therapist like HIM that could continue to help me move past my traumas and heal myself. I could finally go take a shower and plan what to do next.
Cheryl! As I'm checking back to compile material for the April 1 newsletter (always with a new prompt!) I happen to see this--I'm so sorry! I don't know how I missed the notification that you'd posted!
You've really expanded, and added more detail. I can't assume that this is fiction or nonfiction. If it's fiction, you could go in any direction, and build the actual scene of the verbal attack (of course you can do this if NF, too, but then you have the restraint of "what actually happened"). Or you could come up with some past scene--a flashback-to capture some past moment, evidence of what the characters are about. You might want to check out the post on "flashback."
I want conversation dice 🎲
I did find them in my local bookstore...
:)
Souvenirs
Tomorrow it will be one year since you bought me an Almond Milk latte from Starbucks. I know this because the label stuck to the cup shows the date: March 11, 2021. It also shows the time you spent about $4.00 on me was 3:02PM. That must mean I met you at about 2: 51PM that afternoon – just before the order was placed - when you walked up to me at the outside table and awkwardly deciding to take off your face mask, said “ Hi, what kind of coffee would you like?”
Since then, that paper cup has sat on the top shelf in my office, inside a quiet flowered box. Once in a while I will sneak a look at it. No mold has ever grown inside it thankfully, though there is a swirl of dark dry brown circling the inside. Somewhere on the outside are your fingerprints - and mine. DNA forever linked. A clue in a crime scene, if there had ever been one. Or in this case, a small imprint or remnant of a love affair.
I saved it all this time because I knew it meant something when I met you. I also saved something else…the cover from a personalized packet of vitamins and medicine that you take. That is folded and hidden in the velvet drawer of my jewelry box. It is a small white, plastic packet with your name preprinted on it in black type. It was ripped open and the contents perhaps swallowed. I found it in the garbage can in your bathroom when I washed my hands there once.
One year later we still talk sometimes. But we grew apart because of your travels and because of the sea of trouble you found yourself in. Also because of the shifting sand of my own situation. But we always come back. We have a curiosity about each other. Nothing is resolved. The chords of connection are still there…just on pause. To be determined. No plan.
Yes, I took small things. To hold onto. To hide. To look at once in awhile and to wonder. To prove to myself that something did happen. That I did know you. That there was something there. But in the end, and over time, will the souvenirs I covet turn out to be garbage?
Shirley, I'm so glad you posted! Thanks for wading in...
The devolution from "souvenir" to (potentially) "garbage" is both heart-breaking, and human. The details of the items, the care with times noted, the examination of the connection and disconnection--builds. Builds the story here, and the character who is speaking. Romantic, hopeful... I want to say obsessive, but only going further into the story would determine if too much so or not. In the penultimate paragraph the character is seeing with clear-sightedness. Where will that go? So intriguing! "We have a curiosity about each other."
I think the "chords of connection" is a typo... but it made me think of music, and wonder...!
"The time you spent about $4.00 on me"... oh my. There's even tension in the movement from past to present tense... and in the final bit, questioning the future. Questioning the relationship, the connection itself.
"To prove to myself that something did happen," is a line that resonates.
I'm putting together a set of questions that we here--Unschoolers--can use to offer feedback. I think that should be one: What line in the work really stands out? And for me, it is that. That might well be what "souvenirs" are.
Thank you for the feedback! Yes chord should have been cord :)… I feel like I rushed this piece though - there could’ve been more… I like that the things she saved really were garbage but they were also souvenirs…and you mention obsession - I could’ve gone darker there maybe! A dark spiral! Thank you Alison.
I'm realizing, in all this current posting here, about workshopping... how worrisome or downright terrifying it is to post work... that "there could've been more." This is a truth when it comes to responding to prompts and so much more. When teaching full-year 6 credit classes (Sept-April), I used to declare January as "rough work" month... People used to bring in raw work, risk-taking work. Often it was the best and bravest we saw all year. YES to the two sides of the pieces she kept. And maybe even to exploring further. But as is you do evoke these possibilities here; you have created a portrait of an individual and a relationship in few words.
Love the idea of a time to post raw, risk-taking work....I don't even know what that would be for me - stepping out of the box I guess (like you had posted about previously)?
It was something I'd "warn" them of in September. Most had some polished work at that point to hand in... and then the months would go by. The month off in December would give them time to work on something new. And the deal was, all January work would be new and whatever-it-was. There was an air of excitement about it. Also, all were submitting new work, so there was mutual respect and understanding. Trust grew.
Sounds like an amazing experience.
There I was, as usual, sitting in my bed, in front of my t.v. flipping through shows and apps, trying to find something to put on to distract me from everything. Distraction from things I should be doing but can't because of my depression, distraction from my guilty thoughts, distraction from wanting to just crawl under the covers and sleep all day. But I've been doing that too much and it was getting more difficult to keep up. I had to force myself to stay awake long enough to get tired. Even though I didn't even leave my bedroom, it was as if I was a fixture in there, like my lamp, only even less useful. It was when I flipped over to YouTube to watch video's that my life started to change, though I didn't know it yet. I happened to see a video for this therapist talking about narcissistic parents and I thought, "maybe I'd be able to understand my mother more if I watch it". I was hooked right away. He just had a way of explaining things like nobody else I'd ever seen on any platform. I started to watch his other videos about family dynamics that create certain trauma's and he used diagrams, examples and role playing. He also, and this is key, he also explained how you do the work to heal from it! I suddenly felt like I had some power back in my life. I knew I didn't have all the answers but I took that leap of faith that now I was on the right track to get the right help, to find a therapist like HIM that could continue to help me move past my traumas and heal from my depression. I could finally go take a shower and plan what to do next.
Cheryl!
The "as usual" works well--gives a sense of time and where this person is at. "Shows and apps" reveals that back and forth of screen to screen, without spelling it out!
It seems to me that somewhere in the prompts, there's one about writing around an emotion without naming it, as a way of seeing how you might "evoke" without "telling." You might do this with the word "depression." You have already built a strong sense of that, and images that connect--so you might leave it to the reader to know what it is you are talking about.
You've packed a lot in here! The "doing too much" I am curious about: what is it that the character has been doing--is it in the bedroom or out in the world? (I'm left with the thought that they haven't been going out for awhile.) What does he or she do when not doing "shows and apps"? Maybe note a couple of activities or tasks.
Does the character understand his/her mother is a narcissist? How? A brief detail about the parent--maybe included in that brief list of "diagrams (I'm SO curious about that!), examples, role playing"... you might slip in an e.g. of something Mother did, and the character discovers that this word might just connect with the parent... possibly? Maybe that's what hooks the youtube viewing?
I so like the repetition and VOICE in the line "He also, and this is key, he also explained..."
BUT my favourite line, that so stands out, is the closer: "I could finally go take a shower and plan..." Very good! A shower is such an ordinary thing. Something most of us manage to do--mindlessly. Yet to someone in the cycle of depression--for someone in a shadowed place--it's key. And it's momentum, and Change!
Thank you for posting!
Thank you so much! You've given me a lot of great ideas to think about, which I will do for sure. I'm excited to explore them!
Updated version:
There I was, as usual, sitting in my bed, in front of my t.v. flipping through shows and apps, trying to find something to put on to distract me from everything. Distraction from things I should be doing like taking care of my home & talking to my friends, distraction from intrusive thoughts that played like a record of sad things in my head, distraction from wanting to just crawl under the covers and sleep all day. But I’ve been sleeping so much lately that now it’s hard to sleep at all. I needed to force myself to do something to tire me out soon, later. I never even left my bedroom, it was as if I was a fixture in there, like my lamp, only even less useful. It was when I flipped over to YouTube to watch video's that my life started to change, though I didn't quite know it yet. I happened to see a video for this therapist talking about narcissistic parents and I thought, "hmm, maybe I'd be able to understand my mother more if I watch it". I’ve always known she has a grandiose personality and will never give up a fight; even when she’s wrong and the whole room knows it, she simply cannot ever admit she’s wrong. We’ve all just gotten used to letting her have her little delusions. But she hit a new low recently that rocked me to the core. It’s when I realized she’d rather never speak to me again, than try to work through an issue. When she just verbally attacked me out of the blue while I was visiting. She got some wrong assumptions in her head somehow and nothing I said was going to change her mind. I didn’t know what was wrong with her, I was so confused, lost and sad. I didn’t even consider she could be a narcissist until I saw that video. Something about it & that word, ‘narcissist’ just kind of clicked in my brain and told me to watch it. Well, I was hooked right away, suddenly understanding why my mom was acting the way she did helped me not be down on myself, it wasn’t my fault. The therapist just had a way of explaining things like nobody else I'd ever seen on any platform. I started to watch his other videos about the different family dynamics that create certain types of traumas. He used role playing examples as well as diagrams; where he drew shapes labeled for each family member, used emoticons for their emotions and arrows, lines and such, like a football playbook! He did one for a healthy family then the various types of toxic families to point out the difference, which is so helpful. He also, and this is key, he also explained how you do the work to heal from it! I suddenly felt like I had some power back in my life. Though I knew I didn't have all the answers, I took that leap of faith that now I was on the right track to get the right help, to find a therapist like HIM that could continue to help me move past my traumas and heal myself. I could finally go take a shower and plan what to do next.
Cheryl! As I'm checking back to compile material for the April 1 newsletter (always with a new prompt!) I happen to see this--I'm so sorry! I don't know how I missed the notification that you'd posted!
You've really expanded, and added more detail. I can't assume that this is fiction or nonfiction. If it's fiction, you could go in any direction, and build the actual scene of the verbal attack (of course you can do this if NF, too, but then you have the restraint of "what actually happened"). Or you could come up with some past scene--a flashback-to capture some past moment, evidence of what the characters are about. You might want to check out the post on "flashback."
https://unschoolforwriters.substack.com/p/how-to-create-useful-flashbacks-in?s=w
Anyway... just want to say well done. Writing grows from the wrestling with it, yes!