There's so much to think about in this post which seems to be more about being a human than about being a writer.
The word 'gossip' has an undeniably negative connotation. It always makes me think of the mean girls at school whispering and giggling as someone (me, often) walks by, telling stories that are meant to put down, to diminish. There may not be a conscious intent to harm, it may be that people are not conscious at all and seek only to amuse themselves and others, or it may be that they do intend outright harm. They don't call it malicious gossip for nothing.
Then there is talking with a friend about another person because one is struggling with understanding that person, with finding a way to deal with problems with that person. Of course confidences should never be broken, but if the intent is to learn, and perhaps also to offload, then I don't see harm in that AS LONG AS the person to whom one is speaking is not the sort to go blabbing. But also the sort who is wise enough to understand that they are only hearing one side, and it must be coloured by the perspective of the speaker.
As for how my writer self views this, I think that everything informs (if I let it). I don't think I need to talk about other people in order to be a better writer. I do think I need to talk about other people to survive. As someone who has no partner in whom to confide (I completely agree with you that it's unfair to ask a person to keep something from their partner), I think I would feel utterly on my own if I couldn't talk about any other human being with others. Perhaps the bottom line is, would I say to that person's face what I have said behind their back? Would they be okay with me talking about them? Hmmmm . . . more to think about.
Could it be that we dislike much more being the target of gossip than gossiping?
I very much enjoyed though how you brought together 'talking about people' and literature. Really well said. Something to think about.
There's so much to think about in this post which seems to be more about being a human than about being a writer.
The word 'gossip' has an undeniably negative connotation. It always makes me think of the mean girls at school whispering and giggling as someone (me, often) walks by, telling stories that are meant to put down, to diminish. There may not be a conscious intent to harm, it may be that people are not conscious at all and seek only to amuse themselves and others, or it may be that they do intend outright harm. They don't call it malicious gossip for nothing.
Then there is talking with a friend about another person because one is struggling with understanding that person, with finding a way to deal with problems with that person. Of course confidences should never be broken, but if the intent is to learn, and perhaps also to offload, then I don't see harm in that AS LONG AS the person to whom one is speaking is not the sort to go blabbing. But also the sort who is wise enough to understand that they are only hearing one side, and it must be coloured by the perspective of the speaker.
As for how my writer self views this, I think that everything informs (if I let it). I don't think I need to talk about other people in order to be a better writer. I do think I need to talk about other people to survive. As someone who has no partner in whom to confide (I completely agree with you that it's unfair to ask a person to keep something from their partner), I think I would feel utterly on my own if I couldn't talk about any other human being with others. Perhaps the bottom line is, would I say to that person's face what I have said behind their back? Would they be okay with me talking about them? Hmmmm . . . more to think about.