July 1 - Happy Canada Day! and the monthly mash-up post

Using coloured font to work with multiple POV; and more

Happy Canada Day to Unschoolers!

The quintessential “Family at Lake Louise” pic, circa 1967. My dad, brother, and myself. Taken by Mom, of course.

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This is our first of the month post, a mix of craft and conversation, a taste of what The Unschool for Writers is about.

Prompt

Summer plans? Everyone asks. And travel on both sides of the USA/Canada border is vastly different this year. Here in British Columbia, I’ve been seeing license plates from Colorado, Minnesota, Vermont, Tennessee, Wyoming. Welcome!!

I’m writing furiously, finishing a project, after which I intend to slow and work on Other Things that also need to happen. And return to a my usual and slower pace of writing.

But I’d love to hear how you are writing through these weeks, possibly with children at your feet, or in a cabin or tent. Or… choosing deliberately to take a break. I so wish you could post photos of where you’re writing! My wish list for Substack… but you can describe.

Craft

Let’s look at third person limited point-of-view with multiple characters. My current project has three such POV characters.

I’ve written the first 90 pages of the story with almost equal parts in which each character is introduced. Characters #1 and 2 end up meeting at page 60 +- and at the 90 page mark, all three connect.

After that, the story moves from one to the next POV, not in a predictable order, but as the story itself dictates: from whose POV does this scene make the most sense and impact?

In first draft, pages following 90 were—honestly—a bit of a mess. POV was slippery. I just wanted to get the story out, but had to come to terms with limiting this element at a later point. (And wished I’d done so sooner; it’s useful to make such decisions. But not always how it is!)

But in the mess, I began to work with coloured fonts, coding each scene with a colour for the POV.

I also often use coloured fonts to indicate points to re-examine. If I’ve left myself hanging in need of research, or with some question, I’ll highlight in red. (You can choose what works best for you—some have an aversion to red, I know.) If there’s a passage that has some inspired-but-not-yet-understood bit—you know what I mean!—that I want to carry through the story or the telling, it might be green. I also use “strike-through” for bits I think I’m going to cut, but not yet.

But choosing a colour specifically for each character in a project with multiple POvs is useful.

In this screen shot below, you can see the close of a section in my character Nellie’s POV. Then I drop down a line and switch to Ziggy’s. (Note that to open another section you do NOT indent.)

And note the word in red—not a research-needed word, but me demonstrating the use of the word “seemed” for talking about some possible choice or thinking in a character who is NOT the viewpoint in this passage. Ziggy cannot say—definitively—if Cilla is indeed ‘happy.” Cilla would have to verify that. But she does appear or seem to…

Once a section is in a particular colour it serves as a visual reminder to work within that POV.

What does this mean?

It means that is the skin I’m in. Those are the emotions I’ll be processing from the internal, those are the whims the reader is privy to.

Example 1 (Ziggy’s POV, 16 year old male; square brackets are info bits. Here, we’ll see how in-the-middle he is, caught between the other two characters)

“Carter [dog] needs a walk and a poop,” said Cilla [age 19]. “Who’s up for that?”

Nellie [age 14] said nothing. She seemed to shrink with a don’t-ask-me face. Cilla seemed not to notice. Or was pretending she didn’t.

“Let’s all go,” said Ziggy. They set out, and he made no comment about Nellie keeping off to one side, away from the dog.

Once away from the rock, in the flatness of desert, and off-leash, Carter dashed off, circling first Cilla and Ziggy, then dashing tightly around Nellie-the-outlier, heading her off, really. Nellie flinched, held her elbows in tightly to her sides.

“She must have some bit of herding dog in her,” said Cilla. “Next, she’ll nip your bum to get you in line with us!” She looked at Nellie. “You really need to let this go. That was yesterday. She’s just a dog, doing dog things. She didn’t know what she was chewing.”

Nellie didn’t respond. She kept walking.

“I do understand,” said Cilla.

At those words, Nellie walked faster, and scuffed up sand.

Oh man, thought Ziggy.

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Note—again—how I use the word “seemed” and Ziggy’s other observations of his two friends. He can only SEE manifestations of what they’re thinking. He doesn’t know their thoughts. “Observation” is key.

By the time I got to the end, I wanted further into Ziggy’s thoughts, a sense of his concern, maybe even a touch of despair. The Oh man piece does that. We can’t know what the two girls are thinking—we’re not privy to their POV. But Oh man is where Ziggy’s at, and his fears about whether the other two are going to find some common ground.

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Example 2

Here’s a strange little one… but you’ll know how deeply you’re into EACH character by picking up on such tidbits.

So… in the story the campervan actually belongs to the 19 year old, Cilla. She has affectionately named it Rusty Blue. The name rolls off her tongue at this point in the story. When Cilla thinks “van,” she says “Rusty Blue.”

The other characters are not quite there yet; it’s not their van, it’s not their Rusty Blue.

I had written the following lines thus:

Now, she [Nellie] wondered how much he’d guessed. And wished she was back in Rusty Blue—blanket over her head, and sound asleep.

I re-wrote it:

Now, she wondered how much he’d guessed. And wished she was back in the van—Rusty Blue—blanket over her head, and sound asleep.

Small thing? Maybe. But you’ll find, when you’re inhabiting character, you’ll “see” from a slightly different vantage point. And that can make all the difference. Here, Nellie uses her more natural word “van” and then reminds herself of her friend’s name for the vehicle.

It’s akin to standing next to someone, and they point out something that you simply don’t see or can’t see in the way they see it. Not until you move and take their position.

You need to take each of your POV characters’ positions and see from where they are, write from where they are.

The colour of font will position you in that place, reminding you exactly where you are.

Once I was working within a colour, a section, a POV, I saw many brief bits and beats that needed to shift and change. Some were tough. Some were clear windows to another character soul.

There were some passages that I re-wrote entirely in that other character’s POV then. I realized that what was critical in that particular scene needed to be in another’s POV.

Other times, I knew my original choice was the strongest, but had to reframe the snippet as an observation… which left me thinking about how we see each other, the conclusions we come to. Might we make wrong assumptions? Where might that go?

Misunderstanding. Frustration. Renewed connections… all began to make appearances. As always with writing, to constrain your work in some way is the equivalent of dumping more sand in your box—gives you more play. Counter intuitive? Not. This is how it works.

I wrote about the idea of “box” or “fence” ages ago—check it out:

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Choosing to “go paid”

There are currently 120 of you who have chosen to go with a paid subscription, who participate in the workshops, and leave comments and discussion points. Some of you choose not to leave any sign of ever being here, but read and write and understand the need to support.

The Unschool continues because of these people—thank you so much!

I’ve been putting together The Unschool for over four years. There are almost 500 posts in the archives. I produce at least once a week. I have Q&A series, offer workshop opportunities, cover a range of genres and forms for a breadth of experience levels. I think the price fair ($45 USD/$60 CDN), and occasionally I offer deals for those who can’t afford. I’m concerned about how I can sustain this.

I’m working on a new series here, in which I’ll be looking closely at the process for each of my books, with an eye for what will be of value for you. When other ideas for posts, or your questions arise, I’ll deviate from this series. But the series is to explore and share this part of my knowledge. These posts will all be pay-walled, and I’m hoping to reach an income point that will allow for me to continue.

These are not books. They’re business cards—a handy piece of quiet promo. When someone asks about my work, it’s easy to pull one out of my wallet. I suggested this to my publisher, and they had them made up. (As opposed to old school bookmarks.) They include the publisher’s logo, too. Forget the elevator spiel. Just have a card!

My new novel—summer reading—is published with the wonderful Freehand Books.

Indie Bookstores link.

It comes with a discussion guide in the back pages. (I posted about this—how to create a list of questions for book clubs.)

Here is one of those questions:

In spite of Raziel being a central character in many ways, we only ever encounter her through her written words and photographs, and through the lens and reading of Keith and other characters. Do you think there might be other ways to see her?

An idea:

Struggling with some aspect of your story? Try working backwards—create the “book club questions” before you’re finished writing. Does this open up a window—or kick in a door—of curiosity? Or serve to focus?

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And a final note on the new series:

Already I’ve been asked questions about the work for an educational publisher—19 Things: A Book of Lists For Me (a book for mental health in grades 4-6), so will open with that. Working on it currently.

Let me know other questions—email: alison@alisonacheson.com

Happy summer writing—

Alison