He Said, She Said, They Said, Too

Dialogue punctuation for fiction writers

photo of my dad, with friends and the Ogopogo of the Okanagan, BC

~~~

Dialogue punctuation is an oddly tricky part of writing fiction. You can learn by studying the dialogue in the novels you read. But review this, then study. Then apply to your own work.

A straightforward primer

Stand-alone dialogue:

“I don’t care.”

The period is inside the double quotation marks. Punctuation — periods, commas, exclamation and question marks — go inside.

Dialogue with a speech tag

“I don’t care,” said Sally.

The speech tag is a part of the sentence, so a comma is used (within the quotation marks), and the period moved to the end.

Dialogue divided by speech tag

“I don’t care,” said Sally, “about your old punctuation stuff.”

The two bits of dialogue are parts of the same sentence, so the speech tag is set apart by two commas. (If in doubt, read aloud just the dialogue, omitting the tag, and “hear” the sentence.)

Two separate bits of dialogue with speech tag

“I don’t care,” said Sally. “Your dialogue issues are your problem.”

Here, you have two complete sentences. So the period ends the first (after the speech tag) and you must begin the second as you would any sentence, with a capital. This could also read: “I don’t care.” Sally said, “Your dialogue issues are your problem.” It would not be incorrect, but read aloud sounds strange. Rhythm is missing.

Two bits of dialogue with an action in between

“I don’t care.” Sally yawned. “I’m going to go to sleep.”

Here, the “tag” is not a speech tag. It isn’t “said,” or “whispered,” or “grumbled.” A yawn is a physical action. Often there’s confusion about words like “snort” or “laugh,” possibly because these actions involve the mouth. Can you actually speak while doing these things? (Try it.) An action is set apart as its own sentence, with a period, not a comma. (Another action oddity is “hiss,” as in “Sally hissed.” You can’t “hiss” words that don’t have an s-sound.)

Action tags

An “action tag” — a stand-in for a speech tag — can be good rhythmic way to break up a series of speech tags. It is included in the same paragraph with the dialogue, so the reader will understand who is speaking, and in a brief bite, can build a bit of characterization or story or something beyond the monotonous “said.”

Kezia scratched the balding spot behind her ear. “I don’t want anything to do with punctuation!”

Exclamation and question marks can pretend they’re commas and periods

“I don’t care!” said Sally. “Should I?”

Note that the “said” has a lower case s and the exclamation is acting as a comma (an Oscar performance), and the speech tag is all still part of the same sentence. Sometimes, writers think they need to do this: “I don’t care!”, said Sally. But no, you don’t. Let the exclamation (or stand-in) do its job.

Doesn’t draw attention

Next time you encounter a passage of dialogue in a book that just flows with rhythm and allows you to hear the characters, dissect it to see how the punctuation is working to create that flow. When it’s working, you take no notice of it. Which is why I felt compelled to write this piece!

Happy punctuating. Or !